Kitten gallops across the room, leaps on me, and bites my face.
Kitten: I’M TEETHING!
Me: I don’t care if you’re the fucking Tooth Fairy, you do that again and I’m shot-putting your furry little ass out the window!
In other developments, Squeaky is teaching Mingo how to open cupboard doors. Literally doing demos. Help, I’m outnumbered here.