The Chronicles of Mingo

Congratulations, You Have a Maine Coon

Oh, no. Oh, no. What have I ever done to the Universe to deserve this?

Mingo’s vet is convinced he’s a purebred Maine Coon, based on coloring, tufty ears, bone structure, and those feet. He’s barely 5 months old and weighs 7 lbs.

According to Google, Purveyor of Bad News, Maine Coons grow between 18-22 lbs. Some have reached 30 lbs. I do not want a 20 lb. cat.

Maine Coons are supposed to be gentle and sweet. Ah…not so’s you’d notice, she says, as Mingo jumps on top of Squeaky and attempts to beat the crap out of him. Squeaky weighs around 12 lbs. and he’s already on the run from a 7 lb. kitten. At 20 lbs., Ming will probably simply sit on him and squash him to death.

The vet is perplexed as to how he ended up starving in a bush at 2 weeks old, since Maine Coon kittens are valuable. The mother gave birth and kept her kittens outside? Then Ming got separated? The mother and kittens got eaten by a predator, who somehow missed this screaming kitten? It would have had to have been one deaf predator. It’s a mystery and we’ll never know. Anyway, the vet gently suggested I feed him more, since I’m programmed to portion control for older, sedentary cats. Normal-sized cats.

Yet another picture of Mingo. It’s not like I’m fond of this kitten, because I’m not. It’s just to show he has a tongue. Also <sigh> feet.


Mary Holland

Mary Holland writes alternative-world fantasy for grown-ups. Her books include Matcher Rules, The Bone Road, and The Dog of Pel. She lives in the Santa Cruz Mountains with three cats and an ever-changing assortment of wildlife.

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