The Chronicles of Mingo

Bugs Are Tasty If You’re A Cat

My kitchen is under reconstruction: I’m having the old cabinets sanded and re-stained, dust is everywhere, and all the kitchen contents are in the garage. Mingo was spending a suspicious amount of time in the bathroom — and I finally went in to check. Lots of bugs with wings in the tub. When the contractors arrived in the afternoon, the bugs were swarming in an unpleasant buggy manner literally out of the woodwork under the window. Floods of them. Ming loved it. He was bounding around the tub eating them and having a wonderful time.

I corralled Ming. The contractors patted me on the back and suggested I call an exterminator. Between the time the exterminator got there I’d soaked the bathroom with Windex, which was a marvelous suggestion from my friend Polly, endorsed by the exterminator.

Then I went over to Linda and Chan’s house and had a good weep because I foresaw thousands in extermination fees, plus having to tent the house, which also kills every living thing within four feet of the foundation. Plus having to move out (with three cats) for the duration.

However, it turns out these are underground termites and tenting the house would do no good. THANK YOU UNIVERSE. The exterminator crawled under the house and put out bait. He said. For all I know he was under there watching porn on his cell phone, but he crawled out and said the damage wasn’t extensive. Also he said they are unlikely to return soon.

So when work starts on the bathroom (whenever the hell the kitchen gets done) and after we pull the old bathtub out, the contractor can check for, and hopefully fix, any termite damage.

Chan and Linda both beat me up for being a pessimist. This is true.

Yo ho ho and another glass of wine matey!


Mary Holland

Mary Holland writes alternative-world fantasy for grown-ups. Her books include Matcher Rules, The Bone Road, and The Dog of Pel. She lives in the Santa Cruz Mountains with three cats and an ever-changing assortment of wildlife.

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