Cat Detente, Briefly

We have achieved detente! (Please note that the two on the left are fully grown and the one on the right is a five months old “kitten”.) A peaceful half hour where no one is trying to murder anyone else.

In other news, Mingo the Evil Kitten ripped down all the plastic sheeting protecting the house from the kitchen construction. Tomorrow I find out if the contractor has a sense of humor.

Congratulations, You Have a Maine Coon

Oh, no. Oh, no. What have I ever done to the Universe to deserve this?

Mingo’s vet is convinced he’s a purebred Maine Coon, based on coloring, tufty ears, bone structure, and those feet. He’s barely 5 months old and weighs 7 lbs.

According to Google, Purveyor of Bad News, Maine Coons grow between 18-22 lbs. Some have reached 30 lbs. I do not want a 20 lb. cat.

Maine Coons are supposed to be gentle and sweet. Ah…not so’s you’d notice, she says, as Mingo jumps on top of Squeaky and attempts to beat the crap out of him. Squeaky weighs around 12 lbs. and he’s already on the run from a 7 lb. kitten. At 20 lbs., Ming will probably simply sit on him and squash him to death.

The vet is perplexed as to how he ended up starving in a bush at 2 weeks old, since Maine Coon kittens are valuable. The mother gave birth and kept her kittens outside? Then Ming got separated? The mother and kittens got eaten by a predator, who somehow missed this screaming kitten? It would have had to have been one deaf predator. It’s a mystery and we’ll never know. Anyway, the vet gently suggested I feed him more, since I’m programmed to portion control for older, sedentary cats. Normal-sized cats.

Yet another picture of Mingo. It’s not like I’m fond of this kitten, because I’m not. It’s just to show he has a tongue. Also <sigh> feet.


Mingo Gets Tutored

Mingo had an interesting day at the vet yesterday, getting neutered. He’s fine and celebrated his freedom from reproduction by shredding the hanging plastic sheeting between the kitchen construction and the rest of the house. Not that it matters. Dust is everywhere anyway.

Despite my reputation as a ball-buster, it’s been decades since I’ve castrated anything. (I must be losing my grip, as it were.) Both Rainy and Squeaky arrived weeks post-op, and Bob had had his vasectomy years before we met. Of course, along with every woman with a brain in the country I have a little list, starting with that idiot in the White House, the entire male Republican party both elected and voting, and the dog next door.


Bugs Are Tasty If You’re A Cat

My kitchen is under reconstruction: I’m having the old cabinets sanded and re-stained, dust is everywhere, and all the kitchen contents are in the garage. Mingo was spending a suspicious amount of time in the bathroom — and I finally went in to check. Lots of bugs with wings in the tub. When the contractors arrived in the afternoon, the bugs were swarming in an unpleasant buggy manner literally out of the woodwork under the window. Floods of them. Ming loved it. He was bounding around the tub eating them and having a wonderful time.

I corralled Ming. The contractors patted me on the back and suggested I call an exterminator. Between the time the exterminator got there I’d soaked the bathroom with Windex, which was a marvelous suggestion from my friend Polly, endorsed by the exterminator.

Then I went over to Linda and Chan’s house and had a good weep because I foresaw thousands in extermination fees, plus having to tent the house, which also kills every living thing within four feet of the foundation. Plus having to move out (with three cats) for the duration.

However, it turns out these are underground termites and tenting the house would do no good. THANK YOU UNIVERSE. The exterminator crawled under the house and put out bait. He said. For all I know he was under there watching porn on his cell phone, but he crawled out and said the damage wasn’t extensive. Also he said they are unlikely to return soon.

So when work starts on the bathroom (whenever the hell the kitchen gets done) and after we pull the old bathtub out, the contractor can check for, and hopefully fix, any termite damage.

Chan and Linda both beat me up for being a pessimist. This is true.

Yo ho ho and another glass of wine matey!